Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
