unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
