I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
