Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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