Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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