I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
