yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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