I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
