Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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