You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
