Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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