So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
