If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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