Ambien. No doubt about it.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
