i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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