He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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