new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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