Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
