"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
