have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
