When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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