How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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