who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
