the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Bring me that man meat
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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