What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
