i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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