he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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