no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize