She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
