She is in my trunk
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
