It's like a parade of train wrecks.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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