I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
