and next time when you feel me up, do it right
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
