We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You are a genius and a whore.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize