i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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