Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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