I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
