Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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