He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sorry about my life...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
