ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
