No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
