I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
