Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
