Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
