Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
