somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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