So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
