you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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