And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
True but thats because hes a fetus.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
