I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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