just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
