I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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