Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
