I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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