Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
