THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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