you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
