I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
