I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
