when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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