As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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