I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
