Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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