he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
