I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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