fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it's like heaven, but drunker
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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