just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize